I’ve been hearing from a lot of people that they are absolutely and utterly exhausted by politics. Are you? I know I am.

Over the past several years, I’ve been unable to go anywhere on social media without seeing people constantly screaming at each other about politics. So I completely stopped going on Facebook because it seemed especially bad there, with people’s political views overshadowing everything else. Sure, I could unfriend or block all the culprits, but there’d be practically nobody left in my feed if I did.

No matter what side of the political spectrum people are on, it seems they are outraged, appalled, and/or mortified by something and feel it’s okay to belittle or shout at others about it. They are in the right, and everyone else is wrong, and they ensure that everyone knows it. Insults flow like water.

Now, while it’s admirable and important to be a well-informed individual, I feel that being in a constant state of outrage cannot be good for the psyche. I certainly noticed the negative effect it had on mine.

So, I’ve pulled back a bit from the news and social media and find that I’m much more relaxed and much more productive since doing so. Being constantly outraged – especially about things over which we have no control — does take a toll on a person. I didn’t realize how much it did on me until I started pulling back. Yes, there are definitely awful injustices going on (and each political side will have a different view about what those injustices are) but being angry all the time about them does nobody any good. At least I feel that it didn’t for me. And screaming one’s political views at others, insulting people and belittling them has never changed anyone’s mind.

Who knows? Maybe it will lead me to leave social media altogether — and that probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Today is the beginning of my vacation. Initially, we’d planned on taking the scooters and traveling to Arkansas. It’s supposed to be beautiful country for motorcycling there, and I was looking forward to visiting the state. But then I noticed how the COVID numbers for Arkansas were going through the roof, and it didn’t take long for many other states to follow. I know many people had begun acting as if the pandemic was over and that it was “business as usual.” Here in Wisconsin, it’s not unusual to see bars crammed full of unmasked people.

So last week, we made the decision not to do any significant traveling this summer and instead stick close to home for our vacation. Given that I have a preexisting condition that led my physician to tell me, “Whatever you do, don’t get COVID,” I figured it would be best to err on the side of caution, especially in light of the fact that even fully vaccinated people are contracting the disease. So for the second summer in a row, vacation traveling plans are canceled.

Many people say that one of the best vacations you can do is to explore your own city, and that’s what we’ll be doing for the next two weeks (my spouse has two weeks of vacation — and given that I work from home and for myself, I can take time off any time I want). Many of our local parks have “music in the park” and “outdoor movies in the park” events, so we’ll be checking out some of them. We plan on also doing some touristy things like visiting the Harley-Davidson museum, attending local outdoor festivals, and even spending time at the beach — you know, all the touristy things that are available in your own city that you never get around to doing.

Perhaps we’re being overly cautious, but again, I feel better after having made this decision. I’ve noticed that even Wisconsin’s pandemic numbers have jumped, from about 10-20 new cases a day to over 200 the past few days, so there’s a definite new surge occurring. It may be time to go back to wearing masks indoors.

Photo by Chen Mizrach on Unsplash

Do you have the tendency to think about something embarrassing that you said or did in the past, and once you do, feel embarrassed or ashamed all over again?

I’ve caught myself doing this more times than I can count. Thinking about something stupid that I did or said. The thing is, is that it’s not just a passing thought. But I will rehash it in my brain over and over again, feeling more embarrassed each time I think about it. I can be sitting outside enjoying nature, and the next thing I know, I’m cringing into myself deeper and deeper because of an embarrassing memory.

I heard somebody else talking about the same thing, and it was a pleasant realization to discover that I’m not the only one. Now, it’s not as bad for me as it used to be. When I catch myself doing this, I make a conscious effort to shrug it off and immediately change my train of thought.

Because really, there is absolutely no benefit in rehashing those cringe-worthy events. It does nothing but needlessly raise our anxiety level and cause us unnecessary stress. It’s like investing in a mausoleum- it will never pay off.

The key here is to recognize when we’re doing this and then make an effort to stop it. Then, we can remind ourselves that the only result of this train of thought is to punish ourselves over and over and over now, for something we did in the past — something long over with and done.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t attempt to right our wrongs, if possible. If we’re embarrassed or shamed about hurting someone, we should certainly try to make amends and repair the relationship, if possible. But most of the time, these events are long over and done with, and we have no control over them. It does us no good to relive them continuously in our heads.

Though it appears as though embarrassment and shame last forever, this does not have to be the case. So now I try to recognize when I’m doing this and gently remind myself that it does you no good to dwell on past mistakes. I’ve gotten much better at this, and it’s only rarely that I dredge up an embarrassing or inappropriate deed. But when I do, I chuckle to myself once I recognize what my devious mind is up to and quickly put those thoughts behind me.

What the eyes see, the heart desires

I came across this quote a while ago, and for some reason, it stuck in my memory and has resurfaced for me quite a few times. My brain reminded me of it when I was actively trying to curb my spending — book buying in particular. I’ve always had a weakness for purchasing books, but I noticed that I was buying way more books than I was reading. My groaning bookshelves can attest to that.

But each time I resolved to slow down, a few more would find their way into my house. It was then that I remembered the quote and thought about it. “From where am I learning about all of these books?” I asked myself. The answer was simple: from all of the bookish newsletters to which I was subscribed.

Every day (and I do mean every day), I receive several emails talking about all the new books that are coming out or “books we think you might enjoy.” I’d see a book that sounded interesting, and the next thing I knew, it was in my shopping cart.

Finally realizing that I’ll continue to buy books as long as I received these newsletters, I unsubscribed to most of them — and lo and behold, my book-buying pretty much came to a halt. Because really, there’s so much time I have available to read books.

What the eyes see, the heart desires.

I applied this concept to other areas of my life as well and unsubscribed from most marketing emails and newsletters. I’ve never been too keen anyway about constantly polluting my brain with marketing messages every day, and now I consciously try to limit the amount of advertising to which I’m exposed.

As a result, my spending these days has been drastically reduced, and really, I’m buying only essentials — and only a couple of books here and there (not boxes and boxes of them at a time as I did in the past only to sit on my bookshelves, unread). In addition, I never watch commercial television, so I’m not exposed to ads in that way. And in addition to getting rid of marketing emails, I also use ad blockers when browsing the web for my sanity’s sake.

The same goes for tech gadgets (my other weakness, next to books). I used to purchase all sorts of gizmos, chargers, SD cards, drives, etc., many of which I really didn’t need. Of course, getting rid of those marketing emails curbed my desire for them as well.

I think that for anyone trying to cut back on spending, the first step may be to drastically reduce or eliminate the marketing to which you’re exposed. It worked well for me.

If the eyes don’t see it, the heart can’t desire it.

After close to two years, the book club that I belong to finally got together. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until I saw everyone once again — though it did feel a tad odd to congregate in the same room with several people (we’ve all been vaccinated, by the way).

We usually meet about once every six weeks at a different member’s home to discuss whatever book we chose as a group during the last meeting. Our discussions are light, frequently lively, and given that many of the members are either related or very close friends, the conversations often veer into personal stories and anecdotes.

I especially love book club because I’ve read books that I probably never would have tackled on my own — books that have become fast favorites. It’s also opened my eyes to different genres and styles, as well as exposure to other cultures that I never read on my own. So in this way, book clubs can broaden our horizons and push us outside of our comfort zone. For many people, book clubs also provide people with a good reason for reading on a regular basis.

Additionally, I find it fascinating how even though we’ve all read the same book, the opinions and understandings of it could vary so greatly. Often, aspects of the story are brought out that I had neither noticed nor thought of. In this way, our discussions cause me to think about a work of fiction in an entirely different light — and that’s the fun of it! I love hearing all the different perspectives people have on the book.

Most of all, I love being able to talk about a book with others who have also read it. I love being part of a community where we have a passion for reading in common. Often after finishing a book, my mind is racing with new ideas, thoughts about it, or I might even be overtaken by the emotions that the story sparked within me. Being in a book club allows me to share my experiences before, during, and after reading a book.

As an added plus, you can often borrow books from other members. Our book club is fantastic about this — many of the members share books with the rest of us, and I’ve discovered several new and loved series in the process.

For this month’s book, we read “Sadie” by Courtney Summers. This was a much more emotionally intense and darker story than I had initially thought before going in. I won’t say that I enjoyed it (as it wasn’t the type of book that one “enjoys”), but it was good and I am glad it crossed my path. Next month, we’re reading “Anxious People” by Fredrik Backman, a much lighter (and sillier!) read.

So yes, if you’re given the opportunity to join a book club, I heartily recommend that you take advantage of it. I love mine!