Creating Compelling Gay Characters (Without Making Them Walking Stereotypes)
So here’s the thing: writing gay characters should not feel like filling out a diversity form. You know that box that says “add one queer person for representation”? Yeah, toss that box into the nearest recycling bin. Writing authentic LGBTQ+ characters—characters who actually feel alive—means treating them like real people, not like rainbow-tinted sidekicks who exist only to make your story look inclusive.
I’ve been writing queer characters for a while now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that authenticity starts with curiosity. You have to care about your characters enough to explore who they are beneath the labels. What’s their go-to coffee order? What keeps them up at night? Who did they have a crush on in middle school? If all you know about them is “he’s gay,” then congratulations—you’ve built a cardboard cutout. He’s flat, he’s lifeless, and he’s probably going to get knocked over by the slightest narrative breeze.
Let Them Be Messy
One of my favorite things about queer characters is how gloriously human they can be when you let them. Forget perfection. Let them be insecure, cocky, dramatic, shy, sarcastic, whatever fits. Let them make bad choices and fall for the wrong people. The point isn’t to create a “model gay citizen.” The point is to make someone real enough that readers can see parts of themselves—queer or not—reflected back.
I once wrote a character who was this charming disaster of a guy: witty one moment, emotionally evasive the next. A beta reader told me, “He’s not very likable.” My response? “Exactly.” I didn’t want him to be likable; I wanted him to be true. Real people aren’t perfectly digestible, and queer characters shouldn’t have to be either.
Avoid the “Gay Best Friend Syndrome”
If your gay character’s sole purpose is to give fashion advice or say something sassy before vanishing into the plot void—please, for the love of storytelling, stop. Queer characters deserve interiority. They deserve dreams, motivations, contradictions. You wouldn’t write your straight characters as walking stereotypes (I hope), so don’t do it to your queer ones.
Give them full arcs. Give them heartbreak and triumph. Give them something to do besides orbit around the main character’s emotional growth like some kind of sparkly satellite.
Don’t Make Their Sexuality Their Only Trait
This is the big one. Sexuality informs a person—it shapes experiences, relationships, sometimes even safety—but it doesn’t define the entirety of who someone is. Gay characters can be detectives, bakers, necromancers, baristas, time travelers, pirates, accountants, ghosts, whatever. Their queerness can matter to the story without being the story.
Think about it: you don’t define your straight characters solely by who they’re attracted to, right? So why should your gay ones be reduced to that?
When I write, I like to ask, “If this character were straight, would the story change?” If the answer is “not at all,” then maybe I haven’t done the work to understand how their queerness impacts their worldview. But if the answer is “yes, because their experiences have shaped how they see love, trust, fear, and belonging,” then I’m on the right track.
Representation Doesn’t Mean Perfection
There’s this unspoken pressure to make queer characters flawless—to show them as paragons of goodness so no one can accuse you of “bad representation.” I get it. But the problem with perfection is that it’s boring. Perfect people don’t grow. Perfect people don’t surprise you.
Write the messy ones. The jealous ones. The ones who overthink everything or ghost people they actually like. Those are the characters who breathe. Authenticity comes from flaws, not from polishing your characters into gleaming virtue robots.
Do Your Homework
If you’re writing outside your own lived experience, research is your friend. And by “research,” I don’t mean watching two episodes of Will & Grace and calling it a day. Read queer authors. Listen to real stories. Hang out in queer spaces (respectfully). Pay attention to the language people use, the little ways identity intersects with daily life.
And don’t treat “gay” like a monolith—there’s no single way to be queer. Some people come out at fifteen, others at fifty. Some wear it like a neon badge, others keep it quiet. All are valid.
A Little Humor Helps
I love writing characters who can find humor in their own chaos. Not because queerness itself is funny, but because humor is human—it’s one of the ways we survive. A sarcastic remark in the middle of heartbreak, a bit of self-deprecating banter, that perfectly timed eye-roll—they make a character feel alive.
Final Thought (And Yes, It’s a Bit Mushy)
At the end of the day, writing compelling gay characters comes down to empathy. You don’t need to overthink the politics of it if you start from a place of care. If you love your characters enough to treat them as fully human, your readers will too.
We’ve come a long way from the tragic gay best friend and the doomed queer lover tropes—but there’s still room for better, deeper, funnier, more complicated characters. Write the ones you want to see in the world, the ones you wish existed when you were younger.
And maybe—just maybe—you’ll help someone feel a little more seen.
My Ghost Oracle Box Set (Nick Michaelson) is now available from your favorite online retailer.
Books 1-3: https://books2read.com/u/mBKOAv
Books 4-6 https://books2read.com/u/mVxr2l
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