Fear of Screwing Up Is the Real Screw-Up

So the other day I stumbled across this quote that completely stopped me in my tracks—like, mid-sip of my lukewarm coffee, mouth open, full internal monologue kind of stop:

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake.”
—Elbert Hubbard

First of all, shoutout to Elbert Hubbard for smacking us across the forehead with truth like that. (Fun fact: Hubbard was an American writer, philosopher, and all-around opinionated guy who also went down with the Lusitania in 1915. Yeah. THAT Lusitania. History is dramatic.)

Anyway, the quote hit me because it’s so painfully relevant to, like, every single anxious thought spiral I’ve had since birth.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve wasted an obscene amount of time fearing imaginary future screw-ups. Like, I’ve held entire fake arguments in my head, rehearsed how I’d apologize for things I hadn’t done, and talked myself out of trying stuff—just in case I wasn’t perfect at it on the first try. (Spoiler: I wouldn’t have been, because that’s how learning works. Duh.)

The Perfection Paralysis Is Real

You know that feeling? That itchy fear that if you say the wrong thing, wear the wrong thing, post the wrong thing, exist the wrong way, you’ll somehow ruin everything?

Yeah, that voice sucks.

It’s that low-grade hum in the back of your brain whispering, “Don’t do it. You’ll mess it up. People will laugh. People will notice. People will REMEMBER THIS FOREVER.” (Spoiler again: they won’t. Everyone’s busy worrying about their own mess-ups.)

I once spent three whole weeks obsessing over whether I used the wrong emoji in an email. Not because it was offensive or anything—just because I was afraid it made me look “unprofessional.” It was a freaking smiley face. A smiley face. I could’ve written a whole novella in that amount of time. With a plot and everything.

What Are We Even So Afraid Of?

Seriously though—what is the actual worst-case scenario?

You launch your website and a link is broken. Okay. You fix it.
You try watercolor painting and your flowers look like wet ghost pancakes. Big whoop.
You go on a date and accidentally spill water on your pants and it looks like you peed. That one’s…embarrassing, sure. But you survive. You laugh. You turn it into a story later. Maybe even a blog post.

Fear makes everything seem huge and final. But in reality? Most mistakes are just little speedbumps. They don’t mean you’re a failure. They mean you’re doing stuff. And that’s so much better than standing on the sidelines in a bubble of self-doubt.

Little Kids Don’t Worry About This Crap

You ever watch a toddler try to walk? They fall, like, a thousand times. They don’t cry about being “bad at walking.” They just face-plant, giggle, and try again. Sometimes with a half-chewed cracker in hand. Iconic behavior, honestly.

But somewhere along the way, we learn shame. We learn to measure ourselves against others. We get report cards, performance reviews, follower counts. Mistakes become something to dread instead of something to learn from.

It’s such a trap.

Here’s What Helps Me

When I catch myself in mistake-fear-mode, I ask: “Okay, but what if it goes right?”

Because weirdly enough, fearing failure is also fearing success. If you never try, you never fail. But you also never win. You never surprise yourself. You never have those weird, scrappy, beautiful moments of figuring it out on the fly.

Also—rumor has it that Thomas Edison reportedly failed over 1,000 times before inventing the lightbulb? Imagine if he gave up because he was afraid to mess up filament number 762. We’d still be bumping into furniture after sunset.

So Yeah….I’m Still Figuring It Out

So here’s my hot take, straight from the caffeine-rattled heart: Let yourself screw up.

Messy is okay. Awkward is normal. Trying and failing and learning loudly is human.

Don’t let the fear of imperfection keep you from living. Make the weird art. Write the bad poem. Tell the dumb joke. Launch the project even if it’s not “ready.” (Nothing’s ever really ready.)

Because honestly? The only real mistake is letting fear boss you around.

P.S. If you made a mistake today? Congrats. You’re alive and doing things. 10 points to you!