Hey Movie Buffs!
I just hopped off the crazy ride that is “Bullet Train” and, let me tell you, it’s like someone threw a bunch of assassins into a blender with a Quentin Tarantino script and pressed the ‘frappe’ button. If that sounds like your kind of smoothie, then buckle up!
So, “Bullet Train” is basically the ‘Little Engine That Could’ on steroids, with Brad Pitt leading the charge. He plays this hitman named Ladybug – and yes, that’s his real code name in the movie – who’s all about bad luck and self-help audiobooks. It’s Brad Pitt doing his best Brad Pitt, and I’m here for it. He’s charming, a little bit clumsy, and just trying to get through his mission without any hiccups – which, of course, is like trying to keep your ice cream from melting in the desert.
The train’s stuffed with colorful characters, each with their own quirky names and murder-y agendas. Joey King plays Prince with a baby face and a deadly grip, while Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry are this hilarious hitman duo who could have their own sitcom. I’d watch it – “Lemon and Tangerine’s Murder Adventures” or something.
The action is as relentless as an espresso shot. There’s not a dull moment on this train; it’s all fistfights, plot twists, and did-that-really-just-happen moments. David Leitch, the director, clearly had a field day with this. Remember “John Wick”? Imagine that but with more laughs and a speeding train. The fight choreography deserves a chef’s kiss – it’s like a ballet where everyone’s trying to stab each other.
But listen, it’s not perfect. The movie’s pacing is like if you tried to read a book in a nightclub; it’s all over the place. The story wants to be deeper with themes of fate and karma, but it’s like bringing a philosophy book to a gunfight – not the right time, buddy. And sometimes the jokes are trying too hard to land in Deadpool territory but end up in the “try again” bin.
Here’s the deal – “Bullet Train” isn’t going to move mountains or change your life. It’s the kind of movie you watch with your buddies to make fun of and then talk about your favorite kills afterwards. It’s a popcorn flick, a switch-off-your-brain-and-enjoy-the-ride type of deal.
So, should you watch it? If you love action with a side of comedy and aren’t looking for Oscar-worthy material, then absolutely. Get your ticket, grab your popcorn, and enjoy the mayhem. Just don’t expect to come out as a philosopher, ’cause the only deep thought you’ll have is whether Ladybug’s bad luck is actually the funniest thing about this whole wild ride.
Until next time, keep your movies action-packed and your snacks within reach!