My Dislike for Ads

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I’ve always hated commercials. Even as a little kid, I use to leave the room whenever a commercial came on television. Eventually, I stopped watching television entirely. But, of course, this was before the days of ad-free cable television. I still never watch commercial television. Hell, I’m not even sure if my TV picks up those channels.

I’m not sure what’s at the bottom of the disdain for ads. I think it’s the fact that someone is deliberately trying to manipulate me into buying their shit. Advertisers try to make us feel guilty for not buying their gadgets, envious of others who have it, or make us feel somehow less than a person because we don’t bite. Advertisers are masters at making us feel like crap about ourselves: we’re too fat, too poor, our house isn’t clean enough, we own the wrong car, the wrong computer, the wrong phone, on and on. Advertising has always struck me as being sleazy and manipulative. It’s funny — whenever I’m exported to an advert of any kind, I instinctively put myself on the defensive, bringing down a mental wall. That is to say, I consciously fight back against their manipulations.

Every now and then, when I’m out of town, I’ll turn on the hotel room television and attempt to watch a show or a movie. Probably within 20 minutes (often less than that), I’m desperately scrambling for the remote to turn it off. Whenever I watch a program with commercials, it’s pure torture for me. It’s as if I’m deliberately torturing myself for no reason. I begin to get involved in a show, sucked into the story when wham! I’m asked if I’ve talked to my doctor about hemorrhoids. For the next couple of minutes, it’s ad after ad: life insurance, viagra, accident attorneys, funeral parlors, athletes foot spray, etc. With relief, we return to our programming, only for it to be interrupted again 6 minutes later. And on and on it goes. It doesn’t take me long to put the torture to an end and turn off the damn set.

I’m the same way with ads in other areas of my life as well. I don’t listen to ad-based radio, and when browsing the web, I use several ad-blockers on my browser (without it, it’s almost nearly impossible to navigate a website.) If a website slaps me with a pop-up, I immediately leave and never come back. No matter what the medium, whether it be television, radio, or websites, I find ads to be manipulative and insulting. Always have.

Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with ads. This is all me and most people aren’t bothered by them at all. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people and go out of my way to avoid them. The little television that I do watch is only through ad-free streaming networks like Netflix and HBO Max. I find my sanity is much better because of it.

Of course, being an author, this opinion puts me at odds with my business, given that I’m a business person who needs customers. Marketing has always been challenging for me. I never want to appear to be too “in-your-face,” too insulting to people, or too sleazy. I maintain this website and occasionally mention my books on Twitter and sometimes on Facebook, being careful not to turn my feed into an ad machine. It certainly is a difficult balance, trying to figure out how to advertise effectively yet non-sleazily while still getting the word out about my books.

I guess I’m still trying to figure it out. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

My Dislike for Ads Read Post »

On Going Back to the Theater

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I’ve always loved going to the cinema ever since I was a kid. As an adult, I’d turned it into sort of a ritual in that we’d go every weekend to see the newest blockbuster on the super large screen (called the “Ultra Screen”). It was something I looked forward to every week: pizza at my favorite Italian restaurant and then a movie. Plus, I felt there was nothing like watching an epic superhero movie on the big screen.

But like so many others, my movie-going came to an abrupt halt when the pandemic hit, and for the past year and a half, my film viewing has been limited to streaming from Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Disney. Now that I’m fully vaccinated, we’ve begun talking about perhaps going back to the cinema. But the strange thing is that I’m not sure that I want to.

First off, I swear that most colds I used to get were picked up at the movies. I never failed that there was someone sitting next to me, hacking and sneezing their way through the entire film. So it’s been lovely not being sick once for going on nearly two years.

I also enjoy no longer missing large sections of a movie because I had to take a bathroom break during the showing (and I always have to take a bathroom break). When viewing at home, I simply hit the pause button whenever I need a break and never miss a thing. It’s also nice to be able to snack or eat a pizza during the film at home.

Lastly, there’s the cost involved. For the two of us, dinner and a movie came to a little over $60. That’s quite a weekly expense, money I could definitely put to better use.

I imagine I’ll go back at some point — but again, maybe not. These past two years have shown me that I thought I’d enjoyed the cinema more than I actually did and when all is said and done, I really don’t miss it all that much.

So instead of sitting next to strangers in a chilly movie theater, I may simply start entertaining friends and family at home and stream movies in a much more enjoyable (and cold-free) environment. We’ll see.

On Going Back to the Theater Read Post »

The Critters in my Yard

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This morning, I once again had coffee on my deck, and the number and variety of different animals amazed me. I always knew there were many of them, but this morning, I took special notice and simply watched. Here’s who came for a visit:

  • Male and female cardinal
  • Downy woodpeckers
  • Hairy woodpeckers
  • Yellow finches
  • Purple finches
  • Hummingbirds
  • Red-bellied woodpeckers
  • Flicker
  • Wren
  • Robins
  • Crows
  • Bluejays
  • Brown Thrasher
  • House Sparrows
  • Chipping Sparrows
  • White-breasted nuthatch
  • Red-breasted nuthatch
  • A Hare
  • A gray squirrel
  • A red squirrel
  • Chipmunks
  • All manner of butterflies

All this was only during the space of a couple of hours. I’ve always said that the animals in my yard can provide hours of entertainment, and I still maintain that. However, I often find it challenging to get any productive work done while sitting outside because I’m constantly distracted by all the critters.

The reason for this diversity is that it’s always been important to me to have a yard that supports life. To achieve this, I use no weed-killers or any other poison on my lawn (this ensures a lovely melody of cricket noises and an entertaining firefly light show at night). I also have a couple of different feeders: nyjer (for the finches), a bird feeder for millet (for the smaller birds), a feeder filled with sunflowers, two hummingbird feeders, and two suet feeders (the woodpeckers, nuthatches, and all manner of different birds).

Additionally, I maintain several sources of water:

  • A couple of large birdbaths
  • A small heated birdbath for the winter
  • A couple of small cans of water in the flower patches for the butterflies

I also dug up a good portion of my lawn and put in a large flower garden with a variety of flowers to attract butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds.

It sounds like a lot of maintenance, but really, it’s not. Once the garden fills it, I pretty much let it go on its own. Setting up a “life-supporting” yard is not only fun but brings in a wide variety of creatures, resulting in hours of amusement.

The Critters in my Yard Read Post »

On Comparisonitis

I came across a quote earlier this week by Tim Kreider, who said something to the effect of: “We only get one shot at life, and once you reach a certain age, every one of your peers gives you a “glimpse of the parallel universes” that would have resulted had you made different choices.”

This really resonated with me, especially in regards to social media. So many of us closely follow the lives of our friends and family, often wondering what our lives would have been like if we’d take the same path as them (for good or ill). People refer to this as “comparisonitis” — when we measure our lives to those of others, especially successful people. The downside of this is feelings of inadequacy with our own lives — a feeling that we’ve somehow failed. I know I’ve been guilty of this.

We see our friends jet-setting around the globe, attending fancy parties with gorgeous people at their sides. They chat about their high-powered careers and expensive purchases. While I do find it fun to have a peek at the lives of our loved ones, the key thing to remember, however, is that people on social media show only the best and most “perfect” aspects of their life. They may not be posting about their cheating partner, mean-spirited boss, or the high mortgage on their McMansion that leaves them little money for much else.

We got so caught up in all of the “glamorous” posts that we forget that we’re only seeing the good, not the bad (and everyone has some “bad” going on in their lives). Sure, it may appear as though the grass is greener on the other side, but again, we only see one side of the story.

It’s also important to remember that we’re all different. For example, why compare yourself to a successful computer programmer when you have little aptitude for computers? Or to a high-level accountant if you’re rubbish with numbers? It’s like comparing apples and oranges.

While comparing ourselves to others can help to increase our motivation and inspire us to achieve our goals, it also can instill feelings of inadequacy. It can give us feelings of self-doubt, shame, anxiety, and even self-loathing. Our mind jumps down the rabbit hole of toxic thoughts, sometimes leaving us paralyzed. It can have severe effects on our mental health, leading to anxiety and depression.

I hate to admit that there have been times when I’ve felt that I’d taken the wrong path in life. I thought that if I had stuck with the corporate world, I would be in a much stronger financial situation than I was in. But then I reminded myself of how much I hated the corporate environment and how working for myself has provided me with different types of opportunities.

I’ve found that the first step in combatting “comparisonitis” is in recognizing it. When these feelings of inadequacy have arisen in the past, I decided to take action instead of having regrets. If at any point I felt that I was unhappy with my current path, I took that energy and directed into taking concrete action towards my goals and dreams. I’ve always said that focusing on the past does no good whatsoever — it’s only the “now” that matters. If you don’t like the trajectory of your current life, then change it. I recall someone once said that your life is like a play – if you don’t like the way it’s going, write a new script.

I also find it helpful to scale back on social media, given that because of it, it is easier than ever to compare ourselves. What’s especially heart-wrenching is that our children and teens are falling into this same trap. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and I believe this to be true, whether you are an adult or a child.

So if this happens to you, know that you’re not alone. While it’s fantastic to have role models and be inspired by others, we need to be careful not to enter into comparisonitis territory. And if we do, recognizing it is the first step and shutting it down. And most importantly, remember that you are enough.

On Comparisonitis Read Post »

Should my blog have a niche?

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Many professional bloggers state that your blog should have a niche, that you should only write about one topic, such as writing or photography. I’ve read time and time again about how a blogger who diversifies too much on their blog will end up losing readers. That is to say if someone came to your blog because you write about photography and you start posting about your comic book collection, they will leave.

Perhaps I can see this being the case if you’re trying to build a brand. If you’re trying to develop a coding course business, for example, I can see how writing about scrapbooking might drive away your potential customers.

I’ve maintained several blogs over the years (though this blog has been around the longest), and in the process, I’ve tried to niche down the blog topics. For example, I used to post tons of book reviews on this blog but eventually split them up into a separate blog (Roger’s Reads). I also had a blog where I talked about tech stuff because tech and gadgets are a couple of other interests of mine and there was another blog where I posted only about Apple-related stuff.

Now while I do talk about my books on this blog, I’ve decided that I want to post about other topics here as well. I never intended for this to be solely a “brand” blog but rather a place where I can talk about a wide variety of different things. Given that I have a lot of interests and hobbies, it was inevitable that they’d show up on this blog.

I want this to be a spot where I talk about topics that interest me, which may be of interest to others as well. This includes books I’ve enjoyed, my writing process, being a musician, fun tech gadgets, exciting software, and more. If I maintained a separate blog for all of them, I’d never have the time to keep them all updated.

But if you are here solely for my books, there is a tab on top where you can learn all about my novels. You also use the category list in the right sidebar to view only those posts whose topics are of interest to you, whether that be photography or book reviews.

With all that being said, I’m going to be slowly phasing out my other blogs (which have been kind of neglected anyway), and my writing will cover a larger variety of topics here. Of course, I hope to create posts that people will find interesting. And for those posts that you don’t…well, there’ll be a post on a different topic the next day.

Should my blog have a niche? Read Post »

Weekly Roundup – July 24, 2021

Weekly Roundup

Welcome to my Weekly Roundup where each Saturday, I post links to things I shared on social media throughout the week that I thought were interesting. I’ll also include book news, cover reveals, and more goodies.

By the way, I also send out this weekly round-up list each week to my newsletter. So if you wish to receive my weekly roundup in your email inbox each week, you can subscribe HERE.

So on to the roundup.

Weekly Round-Up – 15 Things I Thought Were Worth Sharing

  1. I love this person’s art: This Artist Creates Weirdly Cozy Illustrations Filled With Fantasy And Monsters (110 Pics)
  2. For productivity gurus: 7 Tips to Make You More Productive When Working at Home
  3. Some of my favorite movies in this list: 15 Movies to Cheer You Up When You Need It the Most
  4. 30 different pride flags hang together in a stunning celebration of joy and freedom
  5. Looking to meet someone new? Best LGBTQ+ dating apps 2021: The best options for gay folks
  6. Privacy Watch (this is definitely worth checking out): DuckDuckGO takes on Apple’s Mail Privacy Protection with its own feature
  7. D.C. Black Pride Award recipients to be honored July 21
  8. Looking for an LGBTQ Beach Read? 10 queer books we’re absolutely and completely loving this summer
  9. On the alarming implications of Amazon’s ever-growing share of the bookselling market.: Every Book Lover Should Fear This Graph
  10. Looking forward to this film – I enjoyed the book: Hulu debuts creepy and star-studded ‘Nine Perfect Strangers’ trailer
  11. Pretty photography: If you enjoy eye candy, here’s a list of Photographers to Follow on Instagram
  12. “I Am The Chosen One But I Hate It”: People In This Online Group Share 30 Of The Most Annoying Book Tropes
  13. Tommy Orange tells the story of an overlooked icon who forever changed the way Indigenous people are depicted onscreen.
  14. LGBTQ+ Photographers Redefining Wedding Ceremonies
  15. Just for fun (though some are kinda creepy) – 86 Times People Went On Such A Terrible First Date, They Bailed In The Middle Of It

Oh, and in case you missed it: Passengers cheer as woman making anti-gay remarks gets dragged off plane

From the Blog

  1. My Love for Scootering
  2. A Change of Plans
  3. Exhausted by Toxic Politics
  4. Wordless Wednesday – In Deep Thought
  5. I wrote a Werewolf Book!
  6. Last Week’s Weekly Roundup

Weekly Roundup – July 24, 2021 Read Post »

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